Everything in this house sucks except the vacuum!

That's a quote, from my mother-in-law, God bless her soul. Sue was a funny lady. It was their anniversary last week, and that got me thinking of her ~ they'd have been married 51 years if she were still alive. What reminded me of the vacuum quote was a fight with my own vacuum. It may be dying. Accidentally feeding it a cat toy probably didn't help. It kept turning off.

For some idiotic reason, I own an upright vacuum. I have maybe 100 square feet of carpet in my house, most of that a sculptured Berber, the best design ever for holding on to crap you're trying to suck up. Never, ever buy a sculptured Berber. Most of my vacuuming needs are in corners behind furniture, under furniture, the drapes, the ceiling ~ you know, places where cat fur and cobwebs collect. There is a hose on my vacuum, fully extended it's about six-and-a-half feet, I have eight foot ceilings. Vacuuming cobwebs means lifting my upright 18 inches off the floor. Assuming, of course, that I can get the vacuum directly beneath the cobweb. Usually, I lift the bloody thing at least three feet then stretch to the side. It's like yoga, with weights. And no grace.

Would you mess with this cat?
She'll protect us from the evil vacuum monster. 

So, I'm lugging the darn thing around the house, trying to clean up after the now-miserable cats. Peanut, in a rare show of common sense, high-tails it out of the room . . . oooh! I just got that expression! Shasta, on the other hand, follows me, hissing. I don't get it. She hates the vacuum with a passion unbound, but stays near it. Like Vito Corleone, she seems to believe in keeping her friends close, but her enemies closer.

I went into the bedroom and spotted a centipede (gads, I hate those, ewww) on the wall. "Aha!" I think, "Nothing can live in a vacuum!" So I lifted the vacuum up, reached across the dresser with the hose and sucked up that bug. Feeling proud of my martial skills, I carry that vacuum around sucking up cobwebs, until I realize that the uninhabitable vacuum probably refers to space, not a Dirt Devil.

I put the vacuum down. Not picking that thing up again. How long can a centipede live in a vacuum bag? Aw, crap! That cat toy was filled with nip. Do centipedes eat catnip? There's a lot of nip. The toy was at least as big as the bug. If it eats all that catnip, it will be huge. It'll be a jungle sized centipede. I really don't want to change that bag. The vacuum is back in the basement. It'll be awhile before I can touch it again. It was behaving badly. Maybe it's time to buy a new vacuum. We could just throw the old one out.

What About the Children?

Cue Helen Lovejoy, "Won't somebody please think of the children?" It's the latest attack in favor of the marriage amendment. Yes, in favor, remember, this amendment is to illegalize already-illegal same-sex marriage. Idiocracy in action. If it seems I hit this topic a lot, it's because it matters, and we're running out of time.

Apparently, the big risk in legalizing same-sex marriage is that children will be raised by someone other than their biological parents. It tells the children that one or both people who made them, doesn't love them enough to raise them. Children should only be raised by the mommy & daddy who made them.

BULLSHIT!!! The best way to be raised is by two people who love you & each other and that doesn't have a damn thing to do with genetics. Trust me, I'm an expert. My more-or-less-sane-and-well-adjusted children were raised by the couple who created them, who love them and love each other, for always (26 years and counting). It seems to have been good for them. But that is so not always true.

Minnesota for Marriage would have you believe I should have been raised by my sperm & egg donors. She was a teenager, he was married and a father. So, I guess, Minnesota for Marriage supports polygamy? Instead, I was adopted by a couple who couldn't have any more children, but wanted another. They're still in love after 57 years, and comparing me to "regular" kids, my mother once told me, "Their parents got stuck with them. We picked you out special." Mom, you totally rock.

Two boys, two girls, a boy & a girl? Who cares? If they love each other and the children, if they're committed to each other and the children, the children will be fine.

Let the constitution protect freedom. Vote NO! Love is love and it's what children need most.