The Smile Initiative

     The world is becoming a cold, hostile, & mistrustful place. Yet, we are not a cold, hostile, & mistrustful species. By and large, human beings like other human beings. We all have some specific humans we don't much care for, but we like the species as a whole. Few people can be off by themselves for any length of time without losing our marbles (think: Jack Torrance in The Shining). The need for others is deeply ingrained in the human psyche, we are actually fairly warm & friendly. Physical safety is only part of the reason we shared caves back when were hiding from our Neanderthal ancestors.

     So why are we becoming increasingly fearful? There are lots of reasons, such as watching too many crime shows, reading all the stranger-danger articles our friends share on Facebook, & too much diversity. Too much diversity? Isn't diversity a good thing? Yes. And no. The more exposure we have to others, the more alone we sometimes feel. If you feel like you are the only woman in the crowd, you feel very scared. If you don't believe that statement, I'll wager you are a man.

     As our schools, neighborhoods, and workplaces become more diverse it is both easier to find someone like you and harder to find a lot of someones like you. Realizing that there are many ethnicities around is exciting. It can be unnerving as you also realize that are a lot people who are different. On crime shows the perpetrator is often different from the victim ~ different = bad.

     But here's the reality, asshats usually attack those most like themselves. And people who are different, whether ethnically, religiously or what have you, bring something new to the table. We need to stop running from the new & different. When someone who seems like you ignores you, the assumption is that they were distracted. When someone different ignores you, it's a snub (we are warm, but paranoid).

     I live in a neighborhood that has no majority. Seriously. It's pretty evenly divided by gender & age and no racial or ethnic group is over 40%. The only clear majority are English speakers and low-income households. And we all hurry by the "different ones" with our eyes cast aside. Crime goes up. A neighborhood Facebook page plays a game called "Gunshots or Fireworks" where too many of us know the difference.

   It is time to change. It is time we stop looking away from the different skin color or generation and start looking toward the common humanity. It is time for the Smile Initiative. I started a sociological experiment a few weeks ago and it's going quite well. When I get out of my car & someone is walking by, I smile and say something outlandish, usually, "Hi!"

     That's it. Just a smile and a generic greeting, sometimes I just nod. No one is annoyed, although some look perplexed. Nearly everyone smiles back. Most return the greeting. One young, black man had to recover his bearings at being greeted by a middle-aged white woman, then he gave me huge, sincere smile.

     Take the initiative, smile at a stranger. Wave as you pass one another in your cars. You will be amazed at how many smiles you get, and at how good those smiles feel. The thing about a smile is that it is humanizing. When we acknowledge one another's humanity, we don't fear them without reason. If you're part of a group, smile first ~ people are easily intimidated when they are outnumbered. And don't offended if someone doesn't return your smile ~ we've forgotten how that is normal human interaction. It'll take time for some people.

     But do try. Just smile at someone walking by though they were another human being who has a right to exist. It can't hurt. It is simple, and I realize it's a bit naïve, but all emotions are naïve ~ let's emphasize the good ones.